This week, I'm honored to share the journey of a family that has reminded me of the importance of trusting God and His timing. I pray their story encourages, strengthens you, and gives you hope!
When I asked you to share your story about your journey with adoption, what made you agree to share?
My husband, Derek, and I are always open about our journey. We want to support other families looking to adoption, and we know our story is one of hope and can hopefully encourage others out there going through something similar. It isn’t just an adoption story; it is also about waiting and trusting God for the desires of your heart.
Tell us about your journey. Why adoption?
I had known since high school that I wanted to adopt. I was a missionary kid and saw the world through a perspective of blended cultures and families. Derek didn't have the same desire I did, but we both trusted God's plan for our family. After being married for about six years and not getting pregnant, we reached out to fertility doctors and went through all the joys of infertility testing. (That alone could be a blog post!) The doctors didn't have answers for us but were relatively sure I had endometriosis, and we could choose to do IVF or have surgery for the endometriosis. So we did what we always do when we are faced with tough decisions. We prayed. We didn't get the answer we were hoping for but strongly felt God say "wait." We waited for two more years, just waiting for God to give us more direction.Those two years were hard but not as hard as the year that followed.
Over the course of those two years, God had been working on Derek's heart, and he was excited and ready to adopt. In 2012 we started looking at adoption agencies and fell in love with a small domestic infant adoption agency in Amarillo, TX. (That means that they only do private adoption of infants in the US.) We flew through the paperwork, training, home studies, and interviews. I thought this was a sign of a short wait to have that precious baby (that I just knew was going to be a girl!) in our arms. On our 8th anniversary at the end of 2012 we found out we were approved and now just needed to be matched with a birth mom.
Over the course of 2013, we were matched with two birth moms that didn't work out for one reason or another.It was excruciating. 2013 was one of the hardest years for me; I had quit my job as it was a lot of travel and we needed to be available for a baby, and we had just felt it was time. I was working part time for our church in children's ministry (which was another layer of hard!) and had a lot of time to myself. It was a lonely long year. But I felt God whispering hope.
He gave me scriptures and words about the promises he had in store. Proverbs 20:24, Psalms 131:3, Hebrews 6:15, and Micah 6:5, which talks about the purpose of the Israelites long journey. The journey was to teach them about God’s faithfulness so that they would know God’s faithfulness.
As 2013 came to a close, we were so discouraged and thought maybe it just wouldn't happen. Another year was gone. More waiting. But there was still this small glimmer of hope. On Friday, January 10, 2014, we got a call from our agency that a birth mom had chosen us and we just needed to meet her.
The baby was a girl! She was due towards the end of January, and they wanted to know if we could come with her to her next doctor appointment on the January 16th. We spent that weekend praying about her name and preparing for a baby. Then on Tuesday, January 14, 2014, we got another call from our agency sharing that our little girl had been born! We frantically started packing to meet her and her birth mom. We met her the next day and brought her home on that Thursday.
(Photo: First time holding her!)
(Photo: I am a mom!)
Her birth mom loves her and couldn’t raise her and give her the life she wanted for her. As she signed the papers and prayed over this precious baby, we all cried and thanked God for this precious gift. We named her Madeline Hope.
(Photo: Headed home.)
And then in a surprising twist, we discovered we were five weeks pregnant when Madeline was six weeks old. We knew more than anything that God had chosen us just for her and her just for us. We were meant to be her parents and God was working through His timing. We had Emerson Joy almost exactly nine months after Madeline was born.
Isn't it just like God to do exceedingly more than we can ask for or imagine? Now, we are about to have our third child (a boy!), which makes 3 in 3 years. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that. God was writing our story, and it was all about Madeline and adoption. As God had been working on Derek’s heart, He showed him how we all had been adopted, and adoption was part of all of our story. God has made us all heirs to his throne, not because we are his blood, but because he has chosen us as his children.
"So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his, Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering." Romans 8:15-17 (NLT)
(Photo: Kadlac Girls)
(Photo: Kadlac Family)
What was your biggest challenge and how did you overcome it?
Adoption can come with a lot of preconceived notions. And we will have to walk through those for the rest of our lives. But it is also a time to educate people on adoption. One of the biggest things is that birth moms choose to place their child for adoption, they don’t “give up” their baby. People can say some pretty insensitive things, but we try to use it as an opportunity to speak truth and life on adoption. It isn’t an easy road; we will be the first to say that, and it is a calling.
What would you tell someone who was thinking about adoption?
So many people think of overseas adoption. Hollywood has put a spotlight on it. But there are over 125,000 kids in the foster system in America that are waiting to be adopted. These are usually older children, but they are kids that need a forever home, right here in the US. And then there are the birth moms that just can’t do it and want to place their baby or child for private adoption.
Focus on the Family has some great resources on the options with adoption and articles on next steps. Once a family decides adoption (in any form) or fostering is right for them, we recommend Chosen Ones for families in the DFW area. They are a non-profit that supports families walking through adoption or fostering. We led a support group for them and were able to see so many families encouraged.
Breanna, thank you and Derek for sharing your story with the world. I pray your story encourages and provides hope to others. It is a great reminder of God's faithfulness and that every situation can work for our good if we look for the good.