In honor of Domestic Abuse Awareness month, I wrote a letter to those impacted by domestic violence. I read a quote by Laura Davis that says, “Many survivors insist they’re not courageous: ‘If I were courageous I would have stopped the abuse.’ ‘If I were courageous, I wouldn’t be scared’…Most of us have it mixed up. You don’t start with courage and then face fear. You become courageous because you face your fear.”
I hope this letter encourages you to face your fear!
Dear Recipient of Abuse,
You are valuable to God! He loves you with an everlasting love. I’m not sure where life made you feel undeserving or unworthy of love, but I pray you are able to go back to that point in your life and heal. I know! I know! You’re wondering why I addressed you as a recipient of abuse. It’s because you are allowing someone to humiliate you in front of others, threaten you with a weapon, and blame you for their outburst and anger.
Often, he or she accuses you of cheating, criticizes you for little things, and has forced you to have sex against your will. He or she tried to justify that it’s their right to take sex from you because you’re married or he/she thinks he/she owns you. Do not feel ashamed.
If you are trying to please the abuser, they will not be satisfied with anything you do. You cannot cause them to change by doing what you think they want you to do so you can have peace. Let God do that. You must remember that their attitude, jealousy and anger are not your fault. You did nothing to deserve the mistreatment.
You don’t have to “walk on eggshells” to prevent him or her from getting angry, or feel like you can’t live without him or her. Don’t worry about what other people will think because you’ve stayed this long. There are people that love you and want to help. Yep, I get that he or she has made you think no one cares.
It’s simply not the truth!
You have a right to expect to be treated with love and respect. In fact, you deserve it. Did you know that God loved you so much that He gave his only son so you can be free? In the Bible, John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” The “world” includes you!
You may be wondering how you can help yourself. You can tell a trusted friend, find a safe place to go, call a domestic violence hotline or shelter in your area. You can find a licensed counselor to share your story with or even call 911 when it becomes physically abusive.
No, I’ve never been abused, but I’ve seen my mother physically abused in a relationship. It left pain she was never intended to carry. It also left pain and confusion which was never meant for me to carry into adulthood. I’m writing this letter to you because I want to see you free. If you have children, I want them to grow up in a safe place. As a child, they must be free from carrying the responsibility of trying to protect you.
I wish I could make the decision for you. In reality, the choice is yours. However, I do want to remind you that you are valuable and worth more than you realize! Yes, you! You are worthy of love, freedom, safety and peace.
The little girl
My prayer for you is freedom! I pray that you are able to be free from the humiliation, physical abuse, the name calling, and belittling. My prayer is that you begin to understand God’s love for you. My prayer is that you would take a step of faith and walk towards freedom. I pray you would no longer be a victim of abuse but victorious over your current situation. Be free because you are worth it!
Please forward this letter via social media to help spread awareness.